Tuesday, August 11, 2015

My Foray into Yoga/Letting Go

Here is another little bit I wrote last month, on the 23rd.

"So, with my foray into yoga I have found myself doing more introspection. I wish I had written this down last night when it came to me, but I was so tired I went straight to bed.

I feel like in some ways my issues with my body, i.e. feeling fat, or like I have fat is because my body is holding onto things because I am holding onto things and  not letting go. Until I am able to let go of these things I am not sure I will be able to either be where I want to be or feel happy/comfortable with where I am .

Now, I know physical condition is not what life is all about and that there is no right shape, size, etc. It is just that I think for me, these extra pounds are like the physical manifestation of those things that are weighing me down and holding me back from progressing in my life. I feel like once I am able to let go of these things and move past them, I will be able to feel more accepting of myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and I will be lighter in all ways.

I am still not completely sure what it is that I need to let go of, as I feel like I have already let go of everything I need to let go. I feel now, that maybe I have not fully let go of some, even though I have tried.

So, my goal is to find a way to truly let go of these things and move forward with my life."

After reading that, I find it interesting, because although I have not lost any weight, I feel better about myself. I just started the 30 Day Yoga with Adriene challenge over again, I'm on Day 5 today. I feel stronger, I feel like my muscles are evolving and developing, and I'm feeling more comfortable in my own body. Definitely all good things to realize!

While I don't know for sure how much I have let go of yet, I do feel that I am on the right path, headed in the right direction.

Looking Forward- Career Path/Remembering Who I Am

So, I have this nice bound notebook, like a journal that I write various thoughts and lists and things down in. Some parts are more journal like, some parts are simply lists of things I want to research, there are some quotes, etc. The front of it has the following quote stamped on it, "Live the life you've always dreamed of. Be fearless in the face of adversity. Never stop learning. Be true to who you are. Recognize the beauty that surrounds you. Be the architect of your own destiny. This life is yours to create."

I LOVE this, and it is the reason I bought the journal, even despite the fact that it is pink!! ;) I am not a huge pink fan. 

Anyways, as I went to write some things down today that I want to make into a blog post I looked back at the last few things I have written down. I haven't written much over the past month, but it is amazing the way I feel like I have progressed in my thoughts and convictions about some things in just a month. On the 5th of July I wrote this, I am not going to include everything as my notebook is personal, and this is public! I said,

"In some ways I feel like it is simply ridiculous the way I have been feeling lost and confused about my career these many years. I have always known, deep down inside, what I want to do with my life, what I feel I am supposed to do. It is as if something has been feeding me lies inside that this isn't a possibility. That i should ignore my dreams and look elsewhere.

Somehow though, I feel as if I have suddenly kicked all of these lies to the curb. I know what I am supposed to do and it makes so much sense now! It is going to take hard work, time, research, and some creative problem solving, but I know I can do it.

I am trying to not do wishful thinking about wishing I had stuck to my guns when I had graduated high school. I could be so much further ahead than I am now with this. I have to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. I would not have had the experiences I have had or met the people I have met if things had been different."

Now, I feel like while, yes, things may be very different if I had taken a different path, that I have learned so much about myself and gained so many good experiences on this path, that ultimately will help me on my career path, that this is the way it was supposed to be. It is going to take me some time and some work, but I have already made so much progress, at least I feel as though I have, and I am rediscovering who I am.